Guys let me tell you the story about how I got into my college (this seems copied, eh! Yes it is but I would rather call it inspired from HIMYM) and what my college is all about.
It was the year 2012 – the end of the world as the Mayan’s had predicted. This is the oldest and biggest troll I’ve ever seen. Those bitches would have given high five to each other in heaven on seeing the reaction of people all over the world. It didn’t end in real but for students who couldn’t clear entrance exams it surely did. That year was the judgment year. A few entrance exams would decide where I’ll be grinding my brains for the next four years. Everyone knows about IIT-JEE, no matter how hard you study the only people who crack it are the ones with odd names or the ones who love books like I.E.Irodov more than anything else. I didn’t fall in either category so obviously IIT didn’t get the privilege of having me! I had hopes from AIEEE but my rank wasn’t good enough. Then there was BITSAT, ISAT, UPSEE, and Common Entrance Test for IP University. The last two were my only hopes. I was very much sure that I would clear UPSEE and land in one of the best engineering college my state had. But NO! nothing happens as per your planning. Destiny has its own way of deciding your future. Just consider this; I got admission in a university where the odds of getting into a Government college for an outsider are 1/6 of a student studying in Delhi. But who cares, in the end I went to a government college in Delhi.
G.B.Pant Govt. Engineering College, I repeated this name in my mind. This was my college, the place where I’ll spend the best years of my life. Right from the beginning you have some expectations from your college – it will have a huge campus, the girls would be no less than Natalie Portman (even if you look like crime master GoGo), companies like Google would be chasing you, you’ll be as popular as Shahrukh Khan in your college and many other. Like I’ve said before expectations are miles away from reality. Life always gives you lemons and in my case these lemons are of the size of watermelons. I still remember the first time I went to see my college.
Before the commencement of the classes we had to register ourselves. So I Googled the railway station nearest to my college and to my surprise the station was just a kilometer away from my college, pretty cool for me as now I’ll get to travel in a local daily – I am so fond of travelling in a local train that whenever I have to reach somewhere in Delhi I look for the nearest railway station first and then decide further. After I de-boarded the train I had a hard time locating my college. Locating my college was equivalent to a treasure hunt as the people nearby were suspicious about the existence of my college and the signboards which could help me find the college were hidden behind layers of climbers and call center advertisements. But somehow I reached my college.
The images of the college in my mind and in reality were poles apart. The college was even smaller than my school; actually my school is about thrice the size of my college. The expression on my face was similar to that of a kid who had had a packet of Lays for the first time; you can see the disappointment when he opens the packet. Same was with me. I had to confirm with the security guard that the building in front of me was the one I was looking for. On seeing the college I couldn’t blame people for not knowing it. My college is so small that we have unintentionally mastered the art of utilizing the space. For we have an open space between the college gate and the entrance to building which serves as cricket ground, parking, garden and the venue for hosting our small functions. My college is so small that you cannot bunk the classes without going out of the college. I know there are colleges so big that you need to ride a bicycle to reach your class. But here in my college the teacher can locate you within 5 minutes no matter wherever you were in the college premises.
My college is in its nascent stage, so it is not that popular. Whenever I tell the name of my college, people react in a strange manner. One day my neighbor Mr.Sharma came to my house to inquire about my college, here is an excerpt from our conversation (Text within *…* indicates what all went in my head at that time):
Mr. Sharma: So finally you are in college. Congratulations. By the way what is the name of your college son? *What do you mean finally! I earned that seat bald man*
Me: G.B.Pant Engineering College uncle. *I tried to sound as polite as I could*
Mr. Sharma: You didn’t tell me you were preparing for medical? What is there to hide in it? *Is he drunk? Didn’t I say Engineering College? Later I realized he mistook it for G.B.Pant Hospital*
Me: No uncle, I am an engineering student and that is a hospital by the same name.
Mr. Sharma: Oh! Now I understand you are doing a diploma course. How come you couldn’t clear the competition, you are a bright student. *What is wrong with him? Did I speak Hebrew?*
Me: Uncle there is a hospital, a polytechnic institute and college in which I study by the same name, don’t get confused.
Mr. Sharma: Okay now I got it. It is near Okhla vegetable market. Am I correct? *God bless his bald head. I somehow controlled myself from giving a high five to his face.*
I simply nodded in reply and went away.
When people remember your college as the one near a vegetable market it is not a good sign. This was just the beginning.
Not just the small size, there are numerous other things which make my college special:
- Although it a co-ed college, it is more appropriate to call it a boys only college.
- Students of other college study ‘waves’ in physics but we studied ‘babes’ in our first semester. All credit goes to my teacher who pronounces waves differently. You can imagine how funny it is to calculate wavelength and other properties of babes.
- We believe in development of not only humans but also dogs. There are around 5-6 super talented dogs who have been studying all three branches of engineering with us. I guess they are on scholarship!
- We are so talented that we win every event in our inter college fests. Not to mention the inter college fests are like intra-college fest only.
- The canteen guy is more generous than our entire faculty combined.
- It took us a year to realize that we have a principal too. I used to think that our college was in a state of emergency and UGC head controlled our college.
- The faculty is very fashionable. There is a teacher in my college who wears T-Shirts so tight that when he burps you can see the whole movement from his belly to his mouth via throat. Once I saw him all wet due to rain and trust me a part of me died that day.
- One of the teachers is so smart and intelligent that every single female in my college from sweeper to teacher has a crush on him and he is single too! (No kidding).
- Last year my college authorities tried to make our college more attractive by installing LED sign boards for every room. It should have looked nice but something went wrong and now our corridors look like some street in a China town.
When a number of weird things like the ones mentioned above happen, a person is bound to lose his mind. But I am lucky to have a bunch of idiots who are there to share and witness these hilariously absurd incidents with me. I still remember I made all my friends watch that burp wave motion on my teacher’s belly. One of them was so badly affected by that scene that he decided to quit on this materialistic world and devote all his life to attain Moksha. He regained senses after we made him attend three hour lecture on Dual Nature of Babes!
After experiencing every bit of madness and craziness with my friends in my college I can proudly say,” It doesn’t matter where you are. The only thing which matters is the people who you are with.”
P.S. I am pretty much sure this is an original quote; if you find something similar to this anywhere else consider it inspired not copied!
Abhishek Singh 
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